This week, I will be featuring a guest writer named “My-9-Year-Old-Self.” She is honored to be here and promises to be on her very best behavior.

I decided to share this story from the vaults of my childhood for two reasons:

1. I had no idea what to write this week and was growing rather despondent about it.

2. When I unearthed this story from a box in my closet, I found that the hopes, dreams, and longings I had as a starry-eyed child are pretty much the same today, but in a cuter format. So here we are.

As a kid, I read voraciously. I spent hours in my room exploring new worlds and characters, and it was only a matter of time before I began to want to create my own stories. The ‘writing time’ we had in school was always my favorite, though it never seemed to be long enough. I remember furiously scribbling to finish my stories long after the teacher said, “Put your pencils down.”

When I found an old book of stories I had written in elementary school this week, I re-discovered the fact that I have always been a writer, even though there have been seasons in which I have tried to dismiss or minimize that part of me. It never seemed like ‘enough.’ As I’ve begun to write regularly this year, I’ve realized that writing is not just a part of me that I can cut off or ignore; it is me, along with a multitude of other things.

In this season, I’m choosing to embrace that fact instead of wishing I was more impressive or someone else entirely. It’s scary to keep building bridges out of words, hoping they will be strong enough to take me to wherever I’m going next. But there’s such joy, such life in it that I wouldn’t choose anything else. When I found this painstakingly handwritten story tied together with a tattered red ribbon, I remembered who I have always been.

So, without further ado, I give you:

The Christmas Pony

* This story has not been corrected for spelling or clarity in hopes of maintaining the spirit of the original work. 

Chapter 1) The Horse

Onece upon a time there lived a girl named Julie and she wanted a pony for Christmas of her own. But she was very poor. Her whole life changed when she found a surprise on December 25th. It was a black stallion! She ran to the house to ask her dad if she could keep it! She went in the house and her Dad said if she could train it she could keep it! She set to work right away! In no time she had him trained and her Dad said, “You can keep him alright!” She deceided to name him Godspeed.

Pretty soon, Godspeed was famous! But, there was one guy who wanted to keep him! So, one night he went to the family’s house and took the horse away! The next day Julie went to the barn to find no horse! It was the family’s way of making a living! So Julie, (her real name was Katie), decided to act!

So she tryed out for Annie and got the part! So she made 1,000 bucks that night! Then she decided to go look for Godspeed. She found the man’s house when suddenly, she found a man’s hand grabing her arm!

“What are you doing here?” he asked.
-“I, I,” Thud. She fainted.

The man said he wanted to raise money for them from the horse and said he was an angel! So, for two years he helped the family. And they lived in peace.

Chapter 2) Mess and Surprise

One day Julie was climbing in a tree when a thunder bolt hit the tree which came tumbiling down! Julie was rushed to the hospital because of a broken leg. Oohhhhh! Julie was in an emerjency room in which they had to surgery on her leg. The found out that her arm was broken too!

Julie was lying in bed crying and crying. Everything seems to be happening to me. She thought. Good or bad. She felt like every single hope was gone. She lay looking up at the ceiling for an hour or so. And just when she thought there was NO hope left for her a voice said, “Julie!” It was an angle with bright beautiful wings and a shiny haleo. !“Wow”! was all Julie could say.

 “Julie do not get your hopes let down! God has a wonderful plan to use you!”
-“But what”? Julie said
“God has something wonderful just especially for you”!
-“What”?! Julie asked once again this time firecer.
“You shall see. You shall see.” was the angle’s reply.

Julie just stared in awe as the angle left.

“You shall see”. Julie repeated again.

Silence.
What could it mean?

{Stay tuned! The Christmas Pony will be continued in next week’s edition of Behold.}  

* * *

I have struggled with depression this week to a greater degree than usual. In times like these, I feel like Julie/Katie lying in the hospital bed: “She felt like every single hope was gone.” I want nothing more than to stare up at the ceiling for a few hours and meet an ‘angle’ who tells me, “Do not get your hopes let down! God has a wonderful plan to use you!” But that just hasn’t happened. Yet.

So I share this story to remind myself that it takes courage to keep hoping and dreaming in a world that often scoffs at the child-like parts we learn to hide in order to succeed or fit in. My hope for you in reading it is that you might remember what it was like to be you as a child—innocent and hopeful—and to wonder if those child-like parts are still there inside of you, just waiting for your compassionate attention.

If you, like me, have found yourself in a place of despondency recently, do not get your hopes let down. Your faith is not in vain. It may take longer than we’d ever like or think we could bear, but the dawn is coming.

You shall see.