Psalm 126
A song of ascents.

When the Lord restored the fortunes of Zion,
we were like those who dreamed.
Our mouths were filled with laughter,
our tongues with songs of joy.
Then it was said among the nations,
“The Lord has done great things for them.”
The Lord has done great things for us,
and we are filled with joy.

Restore our fortunes, Lord,
like streams in the Negev.
Those who sow with tears
will reap with songs of joy.
Those who go out weeping,
carrying seed to sow,
will return with songs of joy,
carrying sheaves with them.

I am standing with my Dad at the back of the church, out of sight. It is my wedding day, and I am doing actual lunges (my dress was stretchy) and small Rocky Balboa-style boxing jumps in my stiff red heels (clearly very chill and poised). My dad says something to the effect of, “Should I be worried about you?” but I just smile. Never did I ever think it was possible to be this excited about such a significant and life-altering commitment, especially when my first marriage ended in pain. 

It is my wedding day, and soon I will be walking towards redemption in the form of a beloved groom and a room full of family and friends. The same people who had wept with us as individuals when our marriages and worlds fell apart have come together to rejoice with us and our union as a couple. They are part of God’s redemptive story, too; and I feel nothing but joy and gratitude.

Moments before the bridal procession begins, some lines from a song that will be in our ceremony enter my mind. The song is based on Psalm 126, and begins with these words:

Our mouths they were filled, filled with laughter
Our tongues they were loosed, loosed with joy
Restore us, O Lord
Restore us, O Lord. . .

Hearing these words as my new marriage is about to begin is so much more significant because these are the words I listened to over and over as my previous marriage was ending. When I hear this song, I am transported to a different time and place, in which this song felt more like a distant, unreachable dream than a present-day reality:

I was sitting in the passenger seat of my ex-husband’s royal blue Jeep Liberty. It was evening, and we were driving across the Duvall valley in tense silence after a fight. I felt distraught—like help and comfort were nowhere to be found. Recently, my mom and sister had texted me a song that they felt was “for me.” Not knowing what else to do in that moment of desperation, I decided to play it, hoping to fill the silence with something other than my swirling thoughts. When I first heard the chorus of “Psalm 126” that day, tears began to streak down my face as darkness descended.

. . .Although we are weeping
Lord, help us keep sowing
The seeds of Your Kingdom
For the day You will reap them
Your sheaves we will carry
Lord, please do not tarry
All those who sow weeping will go out with songs of joy.

Was it possible that the tears I had been weeping for years—tears of anger and pain and hope and grief—were somehow watering invisible seeds of redemption planted even in the midst of devastation? On my wedding day, I was answered with a simple yet profound “Yes.” My tears were not meaningless, not one drop of pain wasted. Each tear was a seed.   

* * *

When I hear that song now, these two memories come to mind: tears of desperation in the car, and tears of rejoicing on my wedding day. Although there are areas in my life in which I am still waiting, hoping, longing for redemption, I have seen the hand of the Sower grow life and beauty from brokenness and pain. This is what gives me confidence as I say,

 Dear one, take heart. The tears you are weeping? They are sowing seeds of redemption.

My story of redemption—the one that began in the deep darkness of despair yet ended in the light of joy—is your story, too. In fact, it is our story. Each and every personal story of redemption tells the same story that God has been telling since the beginning of time:

We were lost in darkness, until the Light shone upon us. The Light of life died but rose again, then ascended into Heaven where even now he prays for us, weeps with us. In the end, we will live together in an eternal dawn.

How will we know when the time for sowing has finally ended, when all of our tears will be redeemed and harvested with shouts of joy?

It all will all begin with a wedding day.

“Let us be glad and rejoice, and let us give honor to him.
For the time has come for the wedding feast of the Lamb,
And his bride has prepared herself. . .
And the angel said to me, ‘Write this:
Blessed are those who are invited to the wedding feast of the Lamb.’” (Revelation 19:7,9)